By Eric

As a bartender who makes his living solely on tips, I would like to pass on a word of advice to all the college and non college kids who frequent bars.  We notice who Tips well. And The better you tip, The better and quicker service you will recieve. Below is a list of simple rules you should follow to make sure you don’t piss off your local bartender.

1. Never call the bartender by their name. We don’t know you and there is nothing more uncomfortable then having your name yelled across the bar to turn and see no one you know.

2. When we ask for your ID, Show it to us without rolling your eyes or trying to make up some excuse why you don’t have it. We’ve heard all the excuses and our jobs depend on seeing them. No ID, NO DRINKS, No EXCEPTIONS!!!

3. When it is your turn to order, KNOW what you want. We don’t have all day. There are another 100 people trying to order too. And please don’t try to take orders from the back of the line so your friends don’t have to wait either. I will personally walk away from you if you try to do this and won’t come back to you for a long time.

4. If you’re not going to TIP us, don’t give us reasons why you are not. We already know. The reason is you are an ASSHOLE!!! Just remember you will be the last one we come too next time you are trying to get drinks. Oh, and all bartenders communicate with each other, you leave no tip with one bartender and the others will know before you have a chance to order again.  Same rule applies to leaving a good tip too, but this time it will benefit you with possibly stiffer drinks and maybe the occasional free drink.

5. When ordering shooters, don’t try and get as many different kinds of shots as possible. They take three times longer to make than anything else and once again there are a 100 other people trying to order as well. 1 type X number of shots you need = a happy bartender

6. Never snap your fingers or shake your empty glass of ice at us. Its rude!!! If you do this to me you WILL get served last!!! And with 100 or so other people in the bar you better hope the other bartender don’t already hate you.

7. Never tell a bartender to make your drink stiffer or to give you a free drink. This will in fact get you a weak drink. No exceptions asked. Don’t do it you sound like a cheap ass or an alcoholic. If you want a stiffer drink refer to rule 4.

8. And finally, be patient when you are waiting to order and try to make i contact with your bartender.  We are working our hardest and we will try to get to you in the order you stepped up to the bar in. Remember if you drink the same thing all the time we will start to remember and will be able to get to you a lot faster. However, don’t forget, not tipping good will help us forget you too!!!!!

Well now that you’ve learned some of the main reasons a bartender will grow to hate you on a college campus. Follow these rules and every bartender will love you, unless their just a complete ass anyways! If that’s the case, good luck!! Also remember, we have the ability to ban you from the bar for the rest of your college career, so don’t piss us off or start any fights! We can ruin your college life, especially on smaller campuses that don’t have a lot of bars. Where I work if you get banned from are bar you are also immediately banned from the 2 other hot spots on campus.

Happy Drinking To All and To All a Drunk Night!!!!!