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Ethan: Am I the only person who thinks this Favre standoff is about enter a deadly end game that involves him walking around with a high-powered rifle, smiling his fake “Aw, shucks” grin while picking off random members of the Packers’ front office while John Madden gushes about his enthusiasm?

“Green. Tampa. I’ll play in literally ANY Bay.”

Amir: Every day brings a completely new twist. And on days that there are no twists, that’s the twist. BREAKING NEWS: RELATIVELY QUIET DAY AT PACKER CAMP.

Ethan: Did he think he was being particularly clever by showing up and conceding the starting job to Rodgers? “Yeah, I’ll be the backup. You don’t have to release me or anything. Now, about that $12 million…”

Amir: Favre lives in some sort of bizarro world where work is inversely proportional to money. If he stays retired, he’ll get $25M. If he plays as a back up he’ll get $12M. And his ideal situation is starting somewhere and getting paid less than that. It’s like welfare on steroids.

Ethan: I thought welfare on steroids was Sammy Sosa’s contract by the end of his career. I’m warming on the idea of Favre to the Jets. They’re really just one Hall of Famer away from being 7-9!

Amir: Bring back Curtis Martin!

Ethan: What exactly is Favre even thinking at this point? Does he want to play with Jerricho Cotchery that badly? Or does Favre have him in a keeper league he really, really wants to win this year? Or will he just follow Bubba Franks anywhere?

Amir: I think he just wants to get injured. He’s done everything but tear an ACL. Why does Daunte Culpepper get all the fun?!

Ethan: If this results in Favre getting his roll on, it will all have been worth it. Does Tampa Bay win the Super Bowl with him?

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Right Foot: Hey, Lefty! Are you awake?

Left Foot: Of course. It’s like 900 degrees under these blankets. What is she thinking making us sleep under blankets in the middle of the summer?

Brain: Neck and chin like to cuddle with them.

Neck and Chin: It’s true. We like to cuddle.

Feet: Well I don’t see why we need to sweat our balls off so you can “cuddle.”

Neck and Chin: Well we don’t hear anyone else complaining.

Back-of-the-knees: Ahem, uh, we kind of have a problem with it.

Neck: You’ve never said anything before.

Back-of-the-knees: We thought our profuse sweating would get the message across.

Chin: Ok, guess what? We don’t care if you’re sweaty. If you don’t like things, you can just flip off the blankets down by you.

Feet: Fine, we’ll take calves over this way and back-of-the-knees, you can just kind of like hook over the top of the blanket…

Back-of-the-knees: Oh, that’s worse. Much worse. I’ve got a lot of blanket bunched up in my area.

Left Ankle: Is this what Restless Leg Syndrome is?

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Caldwell Tanner puts the “chill” in “CH Illustrator.”

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College can be expensive. Replacing brand name products with cheaper, generic alternatives can save both time and money. For example:

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Christian Bale: …Although you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours. I simply am not there…

Christian’s Mother: Thanks for…telling us that, honey.

Christian: You like Huey Lewis and the News? Their early work was a lit–

Mother: No I prefer good music.

Christian: You didn’t let me finish…

Christian’s Sister: Say bro, got any Dunkaroos I can snack on?

Christian: You’re going to have the roasted duck with peanut butter soup. New York Matinee called it a playful, but mysterious little dish.

Sister: Nah, that sounds pretty bad

Christian (mutters): You’re a f*cking ugly bitch. I want to stab you to death. Then play around with your blood.

Sister: WHAT? Did… did you think we couldn’t hear that for some reason? Cause we totally could.

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