The Seven Cigarette Smokers

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The Chainer

Alright man, we get it, you’re a smoking fiend, but do you really need to smoke so much that you have to light your new cigarette with the one you’re currently smoking? Maybe you should eat some food or something. You really don’t look well. When was the last time you had a bran muffin? How about some yogurt? What you’re doing is just the epitome of addiction and you’re giving all those casual smokers a bad name.


The Dragger

In the world of cigarettes you’re either classified as a smoker or a non-smoker; there is no gray area. You can’t be on the fence and just have a cigarette from time to time, so either GO HARD or GO HOME! Next time some schlub wants “a drag of your bogue” when he has a couple beers in him, don’t hesitate to tell him to go f*ck himself.  The least he could do is offer the standard dollar.


Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Jeff Rosenberg
 from NYU

165 likes


Roommate Confessions: Issue 37

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It’s been an entire week since your last confession and there’s been a lot of good, solid sinning going on across the country. Check out the top 5 and don’t forget to submit your misdeeds to here!

I was in a fraternity during my freshman and sophomore years. In my sophomore year there was an incident where two other fraternities trash talked us during rush. The majority of my fraternity didn’t care, but 4 of us took it upon ourselves to seek justice. One of our brothers lived next to a hunting reserve, and we went to the pile of dead animals where hunters leave the remains of what they kill and cut two boar heads off with shovels. We then put them on stakes (like in Lord of the Flies) outside the president’s of each of the fraternities houses. Needless to say, word spread and a police investigation ensued to no avail.
Brett C., School Not Given

Let’s just say I wasn’t using my bath towel to wipe off the toilet every time you dribbled on the seat…
Kevin, UCSB


Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Jeff Rosenberg
 from NYU

69 likes


New York Times Finally Up To Date on Textbook Piracy

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Textbook piracy, though not even closely as prevent as music and movies, has been around since PDFs were invented. The New York Times has recently discovered that it exists:

AFTER scanning his textbooks and making them available to anyone to download free, a contributor at the file-sharing site PirateBay.org composed a colorful message for “all publishers” of college textbooks, warning them that “myself and all other students are tired of getting” ripped off. (The contributor’s message included many ripe expletives, but hey, this is a family newspaper.)

Though it is needed to say that the Pirate Bay does not actually post the illegal files, but instead users of the site do.

How do publishers establish that textbooks should cost so much? I remember back in my high school days, I bought my Gardner’s 1,000-page Art History book for about $50. Now, my 200 page physics book is going to cost $200? I don’t see the rationality behind it. Aren’t college students supposed to be poor like me, or is there something I do not know.

I have always liked owning my own books. I even buy them new for the extra cleanliness. But after seeing my textbooks are going to cost almost $900 for this next semester, I am almost inclined to go on the Pirate Bay and search for every single one of them.

[Source: New York Times]

Note: College Being does not directly support downloading of illegal material. We only subtlety mention all the positives about it.

Randy Pausch Died Last Night

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At 47 years of age, Randy Pausch, the famous Carnegie Mellon professor, has just died last night at 4am many months pasted his due date. He was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer and has outliving all expectations. He was famous for his “Last Lecture” which we have previously written about here at College Being. His life lessons should influence every one of us and in his own words, it is a shame that he had to be a dying man in his forties for us to acknowledge this. Buy his book titled “The Last Lecture” or view the actual last lecture below.

Resources:
Randy’s Website
Carnegie Mellon’s Randy Pausch Memorial Fund

The famous Last Lecture:

Real Sex

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Sex may not always be as glamorous and clean as Hollywood makes it out to be nor as energetic or dirty as the porn industry depicts. Here is the first semi-accurate depiction of sex outside of your roommate’s amateur footage he hides under his bed. Semi NSFW.

A little thing we all call News

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The news. Is it a source of information, or just a means of massive mind manipulation? When should we listen and when should we click the off button? Does it truly do the function it is meant to do: inform, and allow for a democratic society, or is it just a mask behind a homogenous group of control? Does the news stimulate positive reactions full of hope, joy, and happiness, or does it stimulate fear? Fear as the perfect weapon for control. Who is behind this massive mind control?

These are questions I have posed again and again. I am befuddled, till this day. I turn on the television and read the newspaper and all I see and all I hear is a repetition of the same events again and again and again, events that always seem to evoke all fear possible within my veins. A fifteen year old girl raped and killed, a seventeen year boy holding the gun, an old man strangling his family, a young baby dead on the floor. If it does not involve kidnapping, killing, rapping, drugs, and crimes the news would be no news at all.

Is what is truly happening in the world this devastating? Has the world always been this violent? I seem to think it has. But why does it give the impression that the world is always about to fall into a deep black whole? If it is not global warming, if it is not war, if it is not oil availability and prices of oil, or if it isn’t this talk of recession, we would have little to look for in the future. Is the truth that humans seek conflicts and need such conflicts during the entirety of our existence? Do we get excited in the name of conflicts? Or is the true nature of our species one that seeks to find the conflicts in order to fix them? Are we killing gorillas or are we saving them? Do we pollute the world or do we invest to save it? Do we destroy or do we heal?

The truth is, that it is neither. News tells us it’s both, in very appealing ways making us believe it is the same non-controversial idea. The news maneuvers our mind to think about all these things and join causes. Save Darfur. Save the environment. But does it make a difference? Did we in fact land on the moon? Is the United States going to launch a mission to mars soon with actual human beings or is it a preparation to continue “news” after this political surge ceases in a few months following November?

Is there an actual war? Or is this another 1984? I could have sworn we were against terrorism here. And wasn’t there weapons of mass destruction in Iraq? Or was that Iran? Sorry, I forget it’s the same country, and Afghanistan the capital. And while we think and wonder about the success of the war, and protest against it while others praise it, and while men die in battle and failure of establishing a stable democratic political system, the “news” is going and going and going. Shut it up. Shut it up. But then again, who to shut up? Who is behind this homogenous spread of “truth”?

Christopher Nolan in Ten Years

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Click To Enlarge


Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Adam S.

30 likes


CH Sports Weekly: Banned in Beijing

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Ethan: Am I the only person who thinks this Favre standoff is about enter a deadly end game that involves him walking around with a high-powered rifle, smiling his fake “Aw, shucks” grin while picking off random members of the Packers’ front office while John Madden gushes about his enthusiasm?

“Green. Tampa. I’ll play in literally ANY Bay.”

Amir: Every day brings a completely new twist. And on days that there are no twists, that’s the twist. BREAKING NEWS: RELATIVELY QUIET DAY AT PACKER CAMP.

Ethan: Did he think he was being particularly clever by showing up and conceding the starting job to Rodgers? “Yeah, I’ll be the backup. You don’t have to release me or anything. Now, about that $12 million…”

Amir: Favre lives in some sort of bizarro world where work is inversely proportional to money. If he stays retired, he’ll get $25M. If he plays as a back up he’ll get $12M. And his ideal situation is starting somewhere and getting paid less than that. It’s like welfare on steroids.

Ethan: I thought welfare on steroids was Sammy Sosa’s contract by the end of his career. I’m warming on the idea of Favre to the Jets. They’re really just one Hall of Famer away from being 7-9!

Amir: Bring back Curtis Martin!

Ethan: What exactly is Favre even thinking at this point? Does he want to play with Jerricho Cotchery that badly? Or does Favre have him in a keeper league he really, really wants to win this year? Or will he just follow Bubba Franks anywhere?

Amir: I think he just wants to get injured. He’s done everything but tear an ACL. Why does Daunte Culpepper get all the fun?!

Ethan: If this results in Favre getting his roll on, it will all have been worth it. Does Tampa Bay win the Super Bowl with him?


Written Wednesday, Dec 31 by Amir and Ethan

8 likes


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